


Golden

by DryDreams



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Genji has issues, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, someone hug this boy, things are not graphic but are bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-12-04 23:08:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11565267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DryDreams/pseuds/DryDreams
Summary: Shipwatch Day 5 Prompt: MissionBefore the mission and afterwards.Sometimes things don't happen the way you think they will.





	Golden

“After you, your highness,” Jesse said with a small bow and a flourish as Genji walked up to the door they both needed to go through. This mission was supposed to be an interesting one. An information cover up, the plan involved shooting some bots and blowing up a building. Both of them were running on pre-mission hype and had been dancing around each other all morning. It wasn’t unusual for the two of them to flirt and push each other’s buttons but the excitement of being assigned to a particularly daring operation together was making it even worse. 

“Sure,” the cyborg replied and pushed the door open, then let it slam shut on Jesse’s nose as the cowboy tried to follow. 

Unphased and with a grin that meant he was up to the challenge, Jesse shoved the door open and jogged the few steps it took to catch up to his friend. The air was warm and their good spirits were almost palpable as they walked across the tarmac. “Ya know, you should really cover up those dainty feet of yours. Someone might just step on your toes.”

“I will step on _you_ , Jesse.”

“Kinky.” Turning around to walk backwards up the ramp to the transport so Genji could still see his face, Jesse waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Please do.”

Gabe swept in moments later and tossed his bag to Jesse who just barely caught it with a grunt and put it in the overhead. “Alright you two knuckleheads, keep it PG”

“There’s no one around to offend, Jefe. Why, ya squeamish?”

“Sure, if by squeamish you mean that you’re gross and I don’t want to be forced to think about your sexual exploits.”

Jesse stuck his tongue out at the back of Gabe’s head. Giggling, Genji in turn stuck a leg out in front of Jesse as he tried to walk past. It wasn’t subtle at all and Jesse noticed right away but pretended to trip anyways, falling slowly and landing with his arms planted on either side of Genji, trapping him against the wall. 

“Oh _no_ , how clumsy of me,” Jesse cooed. Genji was achingly close but Jesse would have denied vehemently that he was doing anything but teasing. He was only teasing...even though as Genji stared up at him, those eyes were so bewitchingly golden that Jesse thought he might drown in them, would happily, even...

But the cyborg simply flicked the brim of Jesse’s hat and it flipped neatly off his head and onto the ground. The rest of the team who were just boarding stepped respectfully around it, snickering.

“Buckle your seatbelts, idiots. Wheels up in 5,” Gabe said as he came back from talking to the pilot and sat down in the seat closest to the hat, kicking it slightly out of the way just as Jesse was about to pick it up. 

“Aw, now y’all are just being cruel,” the cowboy whined as he finally caught up his hat and plopped it back on top of his head. “What did I ever do to you?”

“You make my life more difficult with every passing day pendejo,” Gabe deadpanned. 

“Yeah, you make things real hard,” Genji chimed in gleefully and there was a beat of silence before Jesse whirled around, eyes gleaming. 

“You fuckin’ bet I make things hard, sweetcheeks.”

There was a collective groan from everyone present and Gabe grabbed the grinning cowboy by the belt, pulling him down to a seat. 

Filled with a bit too much pride at their joke and a lot of early adrenaline, Jesse barely even felt it when his ass hit the metal hard. 

 

That was five and a half hours ago. 

 

Now, the dingy motel room they are in is air-conditioning cold; it's the kind of cold that gets deep into your bones if you stay in its embrace too long. Despite this, Genji's flesh is fire to the touch. The metal of his other arm almost warmer--this seems dangerous, feels deeply wrong. Jesse's hand hovers above the skin striped with white scars, aware of the possible repercussions of too much sensation too soon. Instead of shying away from the cool of a palm though, Genji seems to be drawn to it. He pushes against Jesse silently, and in the stillness of the moment Jesse can feel him shaking slightly, thrumming. 

"You're not alright, are you?" he whispers, and it's not really a question. There is too long of a pause before Genji gives the slightest shake of the head. The cyborg is on the ground, back against the door, knees drawn up to his chin. The moment they had closed the door behind them he had slid down into this position. His head had lolled back, hitting with a sharp clunk. He hadn't moved since, breathing heavily and vents moving involuntarily, letting moisture out into the air.

Being rather shaken himself, Jesse hadn't thought to check on his friend. That is until it had been quite some time and Genji's breathing hadn't slowed in the slightest. At this realization, Jesse had snapped to attention and hurried to his side. 

"I should have been payin' more attention to ya partner, I'm sorry," he continues, moving his hand slightly in a comforting circle. There's no response; Genji does not even open his eyes. 

"Genji. I need you to look at me."

The cyborg's eyes flick open like switchblades, and Jesse meets a gaze that is shining with a deep red. The air seems suddenly thin and Jesse swallows nervously. This was not a new phenomenon, just one that he had not witnessed for a long time. He thinks back over the previous hours, skimming his memory for something that was so out of the ordinary to have triggered this kind of response from his friend. Sure, they had been jumped but that had happened plenty of times and they always handled it. There must have been something...ah--there it was. 

The specific enemy agent Genji had attempted to unarm had been alarmingly skilled. For just a moment the woman had the upper hand. The cyborg had been on his back for what seemed only like a split second, but Jesse was confident now that the position and the sword at his ribs may have been startlingly nostalgic. Damn it, he should have seen it sooner. But he had been caught up in his own combat at the time, and afterwards been too concerned with following Reyes' orders and getting them away and out of sight. 

Blackwatch's label of 'clean up crew' was really only a metaphor. The two of them were there to ensure the target was neutralized, nothing more. So after the blast had rocked the earth, too close for comfort, their job was over. Jesse had waited only for the confirmation of no life signs in the rubble and then hurried them to their assigned waiting point without looking back. This time, it was a homely place that looked like it belonged in the past, neon sign casting a sickly glow into the dark. He was thankful that they had been given a bed and not told to wait in some abandoned church, especially now. Genji needed to feel safe, not stuck someplace where time didn't feel like it was passing quite right.

"You're safe here," Jesse said in a normal tone, holding the unsettling eye contact and keeping a steady hand on the shaking bare shoulder. He was impressed now that Genji had made it all the way here without incident. "You did good, we're safe."

Slowly but surely under the quiet affirmations, the glow in Genji's eyes faded but his pupils were still blown wide, almost completely obscuring the chestnut color. He took in a shuddering breath and finally moved more than slightly, reaching up to release the clasps on his mask. Jesse's eyes followed the movement and he impulsively looked to the the cyborg's mouth and the line where his synthetic jaw met flesh as they were revealed. It wasn't a sight he got to see often. 

"Jesse," Genji finally spoke, voice sounding like a radio that wasn't tuned quite right, crackling. “Fuck me.”

Shocked, Jesse shakes his head--as if that will change what Genji said, as if he doesn’t know exactly what he heard. “What? Genji-- no, why? No!”

Suddenly he’s on his back with Genji pressing down on him, hot tongue lapping at the skin of his throat. “Don’t you want this, Jesse?” The cyborg says in between breaths that are once again coming too quickly. “I have seen it in your eyes, do not try and deny--”

“GENJI,” Jesse yells and flips them over, pinning his friend to the floor in an attempt to quickly shut down whatever the hell was happening. Tears streak Genji’s face and he struggles weakly.

“Why are you doin’ this? You’re in no state to be fucking anything!”

Genji is sobbing now but otherwise pliant underneath him and Jesse’s heart breaks. Gingerly he lets go and slowly sits them both up, gathering Genji into his arms and holding him close. 

“Look,” Jesse says softly. “Maybe you think that sex is somehow going to take away the pain, distract you, whatever...I know you probably used it that way when you were younger, hell if I didn’t do the same thing. But that just ain’t fucking healthy, it’s not ever going to make anything better. And if I...if we ever…” he pauses, swallowing thickly, suddenly more sure than he’s ever been in his life that this is the right thing to say but still afraid to say it.

“If I ever do anything with you I’m going to treat you right. You deserve to know some goddamn gentleness and love, not panicky sexcapades in freezing motel rooms. I know I ain’t given you much proof that I’m respectable with all the shit I say but I swear, I’m all talk. So no, you can’t fuck me. Not now. I won’t do it like this.”

Genji’s crying has slowed during his speech and Jesse feels him take another slow, shuddering breath. Then the crackling voice comes again, muffled into Jesse’s shoulder.

“Love?”

“Fuck. Yeah, of course. I love you.”

There is silence for much too long and Jesse feels sick to his stomach. He doesn’t think he could deal with it if he lost Genji, can’t even comprehend that option but suddenly it’s right in his face and he’s terrified.

Finally Genji speaks, voice slightly steadier but still so small. 

“It has been years since anyone has said that to me.”

It’s not a statement of rejection but Jesse still feels heavy, afraid. It occurs to him that he should treasure this moment. He may not get the chance to hold Genji this close again. The thought spurs him into action--that’s not a possibility he wants to consider. 

“I’ll tell you every day, forever if you let me.”

Genji moves to sit up and it takes everything Jesse has to let him go. The cyborg attempts to wipe at his face but Jesse catches the heavily armored hand--it surely wouldn’t have helped at all--and offers his bandanna instead. Genji swipes at his eyes and blows his nose and then drops it on the floor. Those golden eyes look into Jesse’s again, still the most beautiful thing in the world even rimmed red from tears. Then Genji kisses him. 

Jesse almost pushes him away again, still on edge from before but he stops himself. The kiss is soft and Genji is calm, his breathing finally steady. Jesse cups the back of his head gently and kisses back, the tightness in his chest unwinding. It’s over much too soon but still more than enough. 

“I think maybe,” Genji says quietly. “That those words from your lips may be the only thing I ever want to hear again.”

**Author's Note:**

> Here, have a tissue. I certainly needed one.  
> Next time I need to give these boys some happy good times because oh man do they need some.
> 
> Thank you for reading as always, friends!  
> Thank you Kasi for helping <3 
> 
> Follow me on twitter or tumblr if you like @ukelelerapgirl


End file.
